Blinded
by Kiaralilly
Summary: I slowly went inside to see what she wanted. No doubt it would be about Bella. I winced mentally at the thought of her name.' Edward left Bella in New Moon. And we all saw how Bella reacted. But what about Edward? Isn't it about time his story is written?
1. In Which I Break a Heart

**Hey Everybody!**

**This time, I'm taking a shot at Twilight- Edward's point of view!**

**Okay, not really Twilight…New Moon…but Twilight Series. Haha.**

**I always wondered what Edward would be thinking in New Moon. It starts right as he's asking her to take a walk with him.**

**This is all Stephenie Meyer's…I'm just transferring it to Edward's POV. Haha, did you know I just figure out what POV was a few hours ago? LOL. Cluuuuueless.**

**I cried at this part…**

**Still do…**

***Sniff***

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"Come take a walk with me." I suggested, trying to keep my voice smooth. I took Bella's hand, feeling its warmth in mine, holding it as lightly as possible.

She didn't answer, but I could hear her heart beating a little faster than normal, and there was fear in her eyes. I turned away, unable to bear it anymore.

I gave her a little tug, leading her over to where the forest began. Her breathing quickened and it seemed like panic was radiating off her skin.

I stopped a few feet down the path and leaned against a tree, watching her expression carefully. Bella not only looked unbelievably beautiful in the dark green light, making me regret my decision. I tried to memorize her every feature. I tried to enjoy these last few moments with her.

But the idea of enjoying her reaction to what I was about to do was sickening.

"Okay, let's talk." She said, covering her obvious worry with a flawlessly brave voice. At least, flawless to human ears.

I took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to phrase this.

"Bella, we're leaving."

She inhaled, also.

"Why now? Another year…" she began, confused. I cut her off.

"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless." I tried to make my stare as cold and emotionless as possible, which proved hard because she seemed so confused and hurt.

"When you say _we_…" she said suddenly, finally getting the message.

"I mean my family and myself." I annunciated each word very distinctly. I needed this to be shorter. I didn't know how much longer I could go on with the charade.

She was silent for a few minutes, and I waited patiently for her slow human mind to decide to work again.

"Okay," I said. "I'll come with you."

And I wanted her to. I wanted her to so much. But there was some part of me that was angry she wasn't getting it. Angry she was making me pretend even longer than I should have.

"You can't, Bella. Where we're going…It's not the right place for you."

"Where you are is the right place for me."

And that statement almost made me collapse, give in, and call it off the whole act. But she was wrong. I was dangerous. I was a monster.

"I'm no good for you, Bella."

"Don't be ridiculous." She begged/snapped. "You're the very best part of my life."

And she was the best of mine.

"My world is not for you."

"What happened with Jasper—that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" she cried.

"You're right," I agreed, "It was exactly what was to be expected." Of course she should not be in the presence of vampires. Of course it would put her in danger.

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay…"

"As long as it was best for you." I corrected her. The conversation replayed in my head at that moment, confirming my words.

"No!" she screeched, "This is about my soul, isn't it?" she sounded furious, and completely helpless, at the same time. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you—it's yours already!"

I filled my lungs with the earthen air and stared at the ground, trying to figure out how to get me to believe her.

And then I knew how. But was I strong enough? Could I hurt her this much? Should I? My point of all this was so she didn't get hurt…but I was betraying my own promise. If you break your own promise, what happens? I was beginning to lose all self-respect toward myself as I quickly formed what I was going to say to her.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." I said, looking up. I stared at her blankly, braced for impact.

She paused, the words sinking in.

"You…don't…want me?" Every inch of me screamed for me to tell her I DID want her, and I DID love her, and to not believe a word of this!

"No."

NO!

She stared at me, not seeming to know what to say next. I stared right back into her deep brown eyes, which held so much pain it hurt me even more to look into them. But I deserved it. I deserved pain for doing this to her.

"Well, that changes things." She sounded calm; almost business-like. It surprised me, but then I realized it shouldn't. It was expected for Bella to surprise me.

I averted my attention to the trees. I had to leave her a clue…a clue that I still loved her. Whether she figured it out or not was up to her.

"Of course, I'll always love you…in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm…tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I'm not human." I looked back at her, trying to get her to understand. I had never felt _less _human in my entire existence. I wondered if she could see it in my face, which was as hard as rock.

"I've let this go on for much too long, and I'm sorry for that." And you'll never know just _how _sorry, Bella. You'll never know _just how _much I regret leading you on when I knew this would never work out.

"Don't." she whispered, her eyes beginning to glisten with tears. "Don't do this."

"You're not good for me, Bella." I needed to be more blunt. I couldn't bear to let this go on any longer.

I waited patiently as she opened up her mouth to say something, then closed it, then opened it again, looking like a confused, gaping fish.

"If…that's what you want."

I nodded once. What a lie. Even through gestures, I was producing the biggest lie I'd ever told.

"I would like to ask one favor, though, if it's not too much." I added.

A bit of hope, or denial, or anger, or something along those lines flashed across her face, and in return, I nearly broke down and took back the whole lie. I smoothed out my features quickly.

"Anything." She replied seriously, her tone a bit stronger.

She really was selfless. Even though I had just broken her heart, she had promised me anything. I could feel my smooth, hard features slipping, and I stared back at her intently.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid." I ordered, focusing on her, begging her to take me seriously. I couldn't live with myself if I knew she was dead because I wasn't there to save her. But I also couldn't live with myself if I was the one who caused her death.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?" I added, so hopefully she would take me more seriously.

She nodded, and I knew she was being truthful. But she looked so helpless, and fragile, and human.

But maybe this was all too much. Would I tip her off?

I distanced myself again. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself," I hesitated, "for him."

She nodded again. "I will." She whispered.

"And I'll make you a promise in return." This seemed to be the only fair thing to do at the moment. Make a promise of my own; no matter how much it hurt.

"I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."

Bella began to shake, looking as if she were about to fall. Her blood pounded fast though her veins, and I was suddenly reminded of the painful scent wafting off her skin. Yes, I had to do this. It was hard enough to stand this close to her. I knew, if I continued staying close to her, I would slip. I knew I would.

I smiled gently, weakened again by her frail human nature.

"Don't worry. You're human—your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your time." I envied her ability to forget me. I'd never forget her. I'd live the rest of my existence wonder what it would have been like to stay with her. To be with her forever.

As if she had read my mind, she choked, "And your memories?"

"Well…" I hesitated, wondering what a good lie for this would be, "I won't forget. But _my _kind…we're very easily distracted." I smiled, trying to lighten the mood, pretend I wasn't dying inside. I could see she didn't buy it.

"That's everything, I suppose. We wont bother you again." I took one last look at he rand prepared to leave.

"Alice isn't coming back." Her lips moved, but no sound came out. But I understood. I shook my head slowly, wondering how she hadn't already realized this. But then again, human minds are slow, and hers was already working overtime.

"No, they're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye." The truth. Finally.

"Alice is gone?" she repeated in disbelief.

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you." Well, it was more like I'd ordered her not to get involved, and then had to have Carlisle back me up. Alice had been determined to get her own way…or rip my head off. Whichever would have came first.

She looked almost dizzy as she stood there, trying to breathe, acting like she was almost remembering something.

"Goodbye, Bella." I said as smoothly as possible. I was surprised m voice didn't crack. My eyes were burning…I would have been crying if I could produce tears.

"Wait!" she choked, reaching out for me and dragging her legs like heavy weights. I reached out for her, having to touch her one last time before I left. I didn't care how crazy it sounded. I locked my hands around her fragile warm wrists. Her blood pumped through them quickly, and my throat felt dry. I leaned down and pressed my lips very lightly to her warm, smooth forehead; liking the way it felt round and soft under my icy lips. Her skin was like fire, spreading warmth all the way through my body.

"Take care of yourself." I breathed against her forehead, and then ran away before I lost control and ruined the whole plan I had just completed.

The wind whipped my hair and my clothes. I wasn't sure if I had ever ran this fast in my life, and I was trying to relieve the pain.

I ran.

And I ran.

And I ran.

And I didn't look back, because I was afraid I'd see those chocolate brown eyes again. The ones that were so hurt and disbelieving, that I knew they'd linger forever in my memory, just to remind me every second of what I had done.

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**Oooh, that was fun to write! And sad! ******************

**But, review please! I like it, but sometimes I lie to myself for no apparent reason. JK. But, still, please review, and I'll have another chapter up soon!**


	2. In Which I Make a Decision

**Hi hi! I really like this chapter so I hope you do, too. Please R&R!**

**Beware: It's sad! CRY**

**I'm not going to bother to put in a disclaimer. We all know Stephenie Meyer wrote Twilight (btw, she's a genius), so I'm not even going to bother anymore.**

**Italicized…Alice's thoughts**

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I had been running for, perhaps, a minute or so, when I finally realized there was something I needed to do.

I spun in spot and whipped back toward Forks, praying Bella hadn't gone straight home, or was at least downstairs. When I reached her house, I quickly climbed up to her window and flung it open, not able to hear her in the house.

Her room smelled just like her, like it always did. I nearly doubled over in pain when I remembered all the nights she had fell asleep in my arms. Warm and soft, with her dark hair spread out around her, she was like my own personal angel.

No, I had to stop thinking like that. It was over. I shoved the thought to the back of my mind.

Quickly I tried to remember everything I'd given her or would remind her of me. I flashed from her CD player, to her scrapbook, extracting the disc and pictures.

I could take them myself, but did I need another reason to feel ripped apart by the separation? The blurry picture of us standing together made me feel sick. I couldn't keep these reminders.

I yanked a floorboard out of the floor and laid the things carefully inside. I shoved the floorboard back into the ground and fled out the window again, my eyes burning with invisible tears.

I arrived in front of my home in Forks…a place that was truly my home. The shiny silver Volvo parked in front of the house glistened in the one light still on in the house.

I heard Alice's thoughts just then, and she was trying to shield her thoughts by thinking about a bit of dust on the shelf next to her.

I slowly went inside to see what she wanted. No doubt it would be about Bella. I winced mentally at the thought of her name.

Alice was, in fact, there to talk about Bella. I caught a glimpse of the conversation she had seen us having in her head. She grimaced when she realized she had slipped.

"Alice." I groaned, turning again to leave, but she caught me by the arm.

"_Please, Edward? Listen to me just for a moment." _She begged mentally.

"Fine." I replied gruffly.

"She's only in danger without you. She's prone to it, Edward. There are a lot of accidents that would have killed her if she had not had you."

"And there would have been a lot less if I hadn't been there."

"True. But at least you were there to save her. She has a better chance of dying without you, then with you."

"I don't believe that. She'll be fine. She promised to stay safe.

"But staying safe, for her, takes more than just a promise. She'd have to exile herself to her house, and she still would be in danger. She'd fall in the washing machine or something."

"Stop, Alice."

"You know I speak the truth, Edward."

"Stop."

She shook her head slowly, putting her head in her hands. She seemed, then, a lot older than she was physically.

"Please, consider it. I would only want the best for her too, Edward. She's like my sister."

"Your problem is that you see things in the wrong light."

"The wrong light, or the right? Just because I see the cup half full, does not mean you must see it half empty. Consider it. Please."

"No, Alice. I'm sorry."

"Why must I leave, also? Why can't it be my decision to stay?" She was fuming now, her calm approach gone.

"Because I got her into this. It is my decision whether to take her out."

"And loose someone who makes you happy? To take away her happiness, also? Edward, I don't think you thought this through."

"She'll forget."

"No she won't! Edward, I can tell she loves you. She'll never get over you fully."

"You're wrong. B-Bella is a smart girl. She'll realize she's better off, and…."

I couldn't continue, I turned away from her.

"You love her, Edward." Alice whispered, reaching up to put a hand on my shoulder. "More than anything else, I know you do."

I sank to my knees, putting my head in my hands. I was weak, and the pain was crushing me.

"Oh, no, I didn't mean…I didn't want you to…Edward…I'm sorry."

Empty sobs wracked my chest, and I felt so helpless and out of my own control. Above all, I felt stupid for hurting Alice and Bella and…

I couldn't think further.

Bella had to be safe. The only things she wasn't safe from were my kind…

And the only one of my kind that wanted to kill her had to be stopped.

Victoria.

I straightened up…so quickly that Alice stepped back a few feet in shock. "Goodbye, Alice." I said curtly, not looking at her. Hope flashed through her mind and I shook my head mechanically from side to side.

"I need to finish something. And it's not that."

And, with those finishing words, I sprinted to the car, climbed in and sped down the road. I wasn't sure where I was going, but wherever I ended up was going to be where Victoria died.

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**Did you like it? Hate it? Do you want to throw me in an anthill? R&R please!**

**3 Kiaralilly**


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